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[29 Dec 2009|08:08am] |
YES MA'AM I KNOW I HAVE HOMEWORK WATCH FOR MY NEXT ENTRY
what was your best christmas present and your worst christmas present
best:
luchador backpack
worst:
fingerless OR NOT gloves
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[28 Dec 2009|08:02pm] |
I GOT A PRESENT FOR CHRISTOPHER
MERRY SQUISHMAS
IT EVEN HAS A TAIL
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| Happy Boxing Day to Me |
[26 Dec 2009|02:05pm] |
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Delivery estimate: January 4, 2010 - January 20, 2010
Shipping estimate for these items: December 28, 2009 - December 29, 2009
1 "Gone Glimmering"
Chavez; Audio CD; $0.46
Sold by: doolicity
Delivery estimate: January 4, 2010 - January 20, 2010
Shipping estimate for these items: December 28, 2009 - December 29, 2009
1 "Lapsed"
Bardo Pond; Audio CD; $4.84
Sold by: ZoverstocksUSA
Delivery estimate: January 4, 2010 - January 20, 2010
Shipping estimate for these items: December 28, 2009 - December 29, 2009
1 "Weaponry Listens to Love"
Huggy Bear; Audio CD; $4.47
Sold by: ibdbeach
Delivery estimate: January 4, 2010 - January 20, 2010
Shipping estimate for these items: December 28, 2009 - December 29, 2009
1 "No Way"
Run On; Audio CD; $1.90
Sold by: bestcdhead
Delivery estimate: January 4, 2010 - January 20, 2010
Shipping estimate for these items: December 28, 2009 - December 29, 2009
1 "Nowhere"
San Francisco Seals; Audio CD; $0.01
Sold by: dimplerecords
1 "Truth Walks in Sleepy Shadows"
S.F. Seals; Audio CD; $0.32
Delivery estimate: January 4, 2010 - January 20, 2010
Shipping estimate for these items: December 28, 2009 - December 29, 2009
1 "Zombie Terrorist"
Partyline; Audio CD; $4.89
Sold by: ziarecords
Grand total: $37.75
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| Halp? |
[25 Dec 2009|12:58pm] |
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Hey guys, I was wondering if some of you could help me out. I'm putting together five poems to submit to the Allegheny Review and there's a cash prize involved. They don't have any examples of their work up on their website so it's hard for me to judge what to submit. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to look over the ~7 poems I have so far and tell me which five are the best? If so plz leave your emails. Thanks so very much :)
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| DON'T BE THE GUY THAT BRINGS A PLATE OF SHIT TO THE CHRISTMAS FEAST |
[24 Dec 2009|02:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
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music |
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lady writer - dire straits |
] |
Holidays are awesome for second shift custodial types because we get to vulture on all the leftover potluck food at various workplaces. The car dealership I work at now is no different and so far I've gotten some brownies and lukewarm italian beef out of the deal.
However, there are certain things I won't even eat. And I gotta say, if your baked goods turn out looking like this:
... then you're better off buying generic sandwich cookies from the Save-A-Lot because no one wants to put chocolate diarrhea in their mouth. You just ruined everyone's Christmas, anonymous baker.
On the other hand, it's a great passive-aggressive way to tell your co-workers how you really feel.
Here's a closeup of a poopy confection:
The peanuts are a nice touch.
I was tempted to take pictures of the coco turdlets posed in various places around the garage, but then I got paranoid that my boss would walk in and I would have no way to explain my behavior.
(.... ok so I ate one. DONT JUDGE.)
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[21 Dec 2009|02:13pm] |
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So I set up a formspring.me account, you should all ask me your ~burning~ questions so I can feel important!
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[18 Dec 2009|11:17pm] |
okay guys we gotta kill everyone and get this game
THE CONTROLLER
ITS A DRUM
THAT YOU ROLL BACK AND FORTH
LOOK AT THESE COLORS LOOK AT THESE VECTORS THIS IS A GAME SNOBS FAIRY NECTAR
IT TOOK THESE DUDES TWO YEARS TO RECREATE THE CONTROLERELERLER
http://www.ram-controls.com/blog-mh.html
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| new games journalism ho ho |
[18 Dec 2009|12:08pm] |
MAN
IM FEELING REALLY FRIENDLY
( When I was about 14, we had these natural-gas heaters in the house. They really dried the air out, so my mom put coffee cans of water on top of them to evaporate. I used to get up in the middle of the night, sneak into the living room, pull off my drawers, and slowly lower my cock and balls into the water, gritting my teeth and breathing hard (and silently!), trying to hold myself in the steaming water, clenching my fists to hold it in there just a bit more, until my cock started to harden, then jerk, then I'd cum without touching myself just from the pain of my balls in simmering heat. )
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| REMEMBER 9/11 REMEMBER THE ALAMO REMEMBER REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER |
[18 Dec 2009|12:30pm] |
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mood |
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fucking pissed ol chap |
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OK SO I HAVE UNVCOVERED ANOTHER LIBUREL CONSPIRACY WIHT MY FINE DETECTIVE SKILLS
I HAVE NOTICED THAT FIREFOX TRIES TO AUTOCORRECT MY SPELLING OF COMMON AMERICAN WORDS SUCH AS "NEIGHBOR" AND "FAVORITE" TO THE GAY ENGLISH PUSSY SPELLINGS OF "NEIGHBOUR" AND "FAVOURITE"
I HAVTE IT ON GOOD FAITH THAT THIS IS PART OF OBAMAS SINSTER PLAN TO MAKE US ALL GAY ENGLISH PUSSIES, ON JANURARY 7TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
MY FELOW AMERICANS WE MUST STNAD UP AGIANT THIS INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT RUN AWAY TO CANADA DURING VIET-NAM JUST TO BE FORCED TO DRINK TEA INSTED OF COFFEE AND EAT ENGLISH MUFFINS LIKE ALL THE TIME, I FUCKING HATE ENGLISH MUFFINS AND PREFER REAL AMRICAN FOOD LIKE BRATWURST AND PIZZA BECAUSE I MA NOT A GAY PUSSY LIMEY FUCKER OH MY GOD I HAVE TO SHIT
IF YOU ARE A CONVERED CITIZEN PLEASE EMAIL THIS TO ALL YOUR REPRESNETATIVE AND TELL THEM THAT YOU WILL NOT STAND FOR ANAL SEX AND BAD DENTISTRY
GOD BLES AMRICNA
*EAGLE*
*TEARS*
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| POETRY |
[16 Dec 2009|10:49pm] |
ALL THESE RETARDS ARE CALLING
I CAN HEAR THEM MOAN
WHEN I'M ON THE SHITTER
WHEN I'M TALKING ON THE PHONE
I TELL THEM TO STOP BUT THEY JUST SMEAR THEIR FECES
AND LOOK AT ME LIKE MY NAME IS LUIGI
QUIT CALLING HERE GOD DAMMIT
THIS IS DRIVING ME BATTY
MY AUNT LUCINDA
NOW SHE WAS A FATTY
THE BLUE TARP IS BLOWING
IT'S A' BLOWIN IN THE BREEZE
I WHISTLE THROUGH MY ASSHOLE
WHENEVER I SNEEZE
THE SHITTY PART OF TOWN
THE SHITTY PART OF TOWN
THE SHITTY PART OF TOWN
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| Friends cut ish |
[16 Dec 2009|08:57pm] |
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So I just removed a fuck ton of people from my friend's list. It was mostly inactive journals or journals of people I didn't know. If you want to be readded or think I deleted you by accident, just let me know and I'll readd you. I promise it's nothing personal.
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| SERIOUSLY WHY HAVENT YOU PLAYED LA LA LAND YET |
[16 Dec 2009|02:15pm] |
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music |
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tesla boy - fire |
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me and amon26, A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE WHO VISITED RECENTLY
there he is right there, no its not robert FUCKING smith i promise its my friend
anyway he makes really awesome visually assaulting games like all our friends are dead and au sable
EXHIBIT B A GAME SCREEN CAPTURE A GAME MADE BY NOT ROBERT SMITH BUT AMON26
26 is becuase even in the very beginning of the internet there were still 25 goths before him who wanted the name amon
so we wanted to make a game, and i wanted it to be the sequel to lalaland since lalaland is the game that really raised the bar for my standards of what games can be, and for how FUCKING IMAGINATIVE AND VISUALLY ASSAULTING AND kind of deep AND RIPPING APART GAMES AS I KNEW THEM PREVIOUSLY it is
wait
oh wahtever im not fixing that
lets look at screenshots of lala land now, which wont do it justice seriously uyou shoud just download it
 
 
i mean if you know me and i actually liek you you've probably already played this game or heard me scream and wail for days about it but
IF FOR SOME REASON (you're a huge fucking dick) YOU HAVENT PLAYED IT
DO IT NOW
then come back here okay im not done
welcome back
it took forever, a whole fucking long ass goddamn four hours, but WE FINISHED, WE WERE BLEEDING FROM EVERY HOLE AND ALL OF OUR KNUCKLES WERE BROKEN not from fighting but from knucking so hard becuase holy shit we just made the game to end all games
so we grabbed his laptop, the leisure machine and TOOK LALALAND2 TO THE STREETZ for anonymous testing
and i would just grin with pride watching the bouncing and falling letters on the start screen, and the constantly shifting rainbow mame debugging background, and the waterfall with nightmarish images that i wasnt sure were actually there or maybe it was just the game being characteristically (holy shit i did spelled that right??>??? that looks so wrong) glitchy
the first person we brought it to i was just so antsy bouncing on my feet dancing around the street
he startedi tup and WHAT THE FUCK LIFE FLASHING BEFORE EYES BRIGHT LIGHT BABY DAPHNY LITTLE DPAHNY TEEN DAPHNY OH HERE I AM CONCIOUS AGIAN WHAT IS THIS KNIFE IN MY HAND
what hte fuck im on a goddamn battlefield and there are corpses all around me and meowzbow is crucified screaming with timers on his wrists
"YOUR LAST SIGHT WILL BE YOUR LOVERS DYING SCREAMS"
thats my cat thats a sound
"IM GONNA SLIT HIS WRISTS RIGHT BEFORE I KILL YOU"
what the fuck this is crazy so im running through puddles of blood and i hide behind a pile of mangled corpses to try to think of something to do
and where the fuck are all the guns, why the hell is everyone fighting with fucking knives and spears and wooden handles of different sizes with metal sharp shit of different sizes attached
i mean its like mexican food right its all the same ingredients in different shapes
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY and theres some bubbiling guttural noises OH GOD SOMEONE ON THE BOTTOM OF THE CORPSE PILE IS ALIVE AND TALKING TO ME so i try to pull him out but hte corpses just fall on top of me and holy shit its really warm and heavy and kind of nice so i sit for a while and listen
no i dont the guy just gets out that hes the general of the other side and wants to kill me because of my game
so i dig my way out of the corpse pile and pick out the flesh and blood from under my fingernails, becuase EVEN IN WAR i hate FUCKING HATE having dirty goddamn fingernails
and i just fucking FREEZE in horror because oh god my enemy is a fucking nutcase
he like
cuts this dudes lungs out of his chest and then pinches the dude's nose and SHOVES a tube down his throat and then pours water down the tube until his lungs swell up AND EXPLODE AND THE GUY IS JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING HIS FUCKING LUNGS SWELL TO THE POINT OF MURDERING HIM
then this fucking guy
he put a man in the center of a circle of like six other guys, and cut out each of the surrounding guys intestines and wrapped up the center dude with them until he was just an intestine mummy, all you could see was his head
and then one by one he reached in the outside circles assholes and PULLED out their colon and intestines from that end, super fast so the guy in the middle spun around and around, and when he was yanking the sixth guys intestines out through his butt the guy in the middle puked up his own stomach
so the EVIL GENERAL PUNCHED the guys stomach and his stomach acid exploded all over dizzy dude and just ate his flesh away
he died too
they were all dead
the whole time, psychopathic murderer, MY ENEMY WHO I WAS OBVIOUSLY SUPPOSED TO KILL TO SAVE MY BOYFRIEND, ER MEOWZBOW was just laughing with glee and splashing in their blood
oh wait hes distracted look how happy he is
i dash up behind him hella quick ninja stealth like and cut out his entire spine i just slit all the way up from his butt to his neck and pull the fucker out, oh man this IS fun and i clip it around my waist like a belt but its really fucking long so i hula hoop with it for a bit and set meowzbow free and we get ready to go home BUT I GET ARRESTED WHAT THE FUCK I JUST KILLED THE PSYCHOPATH BUT THEY THINK -IM- THE PSYCHOPATH becuase of my stupid spine hula hoop and all i can think is stupid if you made it a skip-it theyd totally believe you but this belt makes you look like a fucking nutcase stupid stupid ALWAYS SKIP IT NVR FORGET
but im back now
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